Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize