The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
