I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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