Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
