no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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