I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
