i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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