The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
