Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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