shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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