ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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