She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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