A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
