...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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