Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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