i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize