How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
