Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
