Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
