maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
