Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
