You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
