guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
