I think i peed on brittanys purse
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can I color on your dick again?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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