she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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