Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
