About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize