so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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