also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
