We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Couch. On fire.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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