I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize