That's intense
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
