I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
