would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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