question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
