look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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