Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
