Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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