i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
