There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize