Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
