Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
