Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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