Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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