he shaved USA in his pubs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
