best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
