I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
