check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
