Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My vagina just recognized that song.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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