I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
