White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize