saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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