best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
