Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
