I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
