Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
