her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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