Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize