So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize