You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
