Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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