Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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