I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
